My ex constantly criticized everything I did. When other people did the same little things as I did he would say nothing, but if it was me I would never here the end of the insults and harassment. Even things as simple as missing a turn or which side of a parking lot I decided to leave from.

I confronted him about this fact at a festival called Alchemy in Georgia. I asked him why he couldn’t afford me the same respect he afforded other people. At some point during the exchange he got extremely angry and stormed away. I stayed behind for a while, crying, and then went back to our tent. I had no idea where he had went but I sent a friend to check on him and make sure he was OK. Our mutual friend found him. My ex didn’t like that I had sent him so he proceeded to have sex in an orgy tent right in front of him.

Our friend didn’t tell me what happened, but my ex did. He came back, took me by the hand, and asked me to walk with him. After we got a little distance from our camp site he told me what he had done…I didnt believe him at first, but when he insisted I knew it was true and I immediately ripped my hand away. What proceeded afterward was long and dramatic, but involved him telling me over and over again how it was all my fault and I had somehow made him do it.

In the end he went into our van, rolled up in a ball, and started rocking and saying, “I just wanna go home,” repeatedly. Through all the pain and anger I felt I still felt worry for him as well…and it all turned into ME trying to help HIM stop breaking down.

I wish I had ended it all there. I spent another year with him.


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