This is going to sound funny…

But I was thinking about what people always say: Matter can neither be created nor destroyed.

Some people use that as a way to justify their belief in a soul or afterlife. It’s just fanciful but I was thinking about that…

What if, when we all become fertilizer for plants and whatnot, bits and pieces of us pass into the food chain, eaten eventually by other humans, who we then become a part of…

Like…what if a pregnant woman ate something that had at some point in the food chain been fertilized by someone… Then bits and pieces of someone would be reborn in that child.

Crazy, right? But that’s where my brain goes sometimes.

Meaninglessness of Existence

I’m having a lot of trouble coping with life these days. I feel pretty down in the dumps at random but regular intervals. I feel like my life has no meaning. I feel like existence is probably meaningless in general. I fear the void that will come at the end of my run on this planet. I wish so badly that I could buy into some afterlife fantasy, but no matter how I try I can’t bring myself to do it. I just can’t convince myself.

To my fellow atheists/agnostics/non-believers out there: How do you deal with the “knowledge” that when it’s over, it’s over? How does stressing over money and career and getting by seem justifiable when it will all end in blackness? Is there another way of looking at it?

Someone tried to make me feel better by saying well…you’ll never really disappear, no matter disappears… But to me all that means is that I’ll become fertilizer for some plant after I die and my energy will be transferred back into the ground. That doesn’t mean my “soul” will go on to frolic about the universe.

Can someone please offer me some kind of comfort or perspective that might help me rise above this depressing idea of reality I have right now?